Tuesday 7 August 2012

ANOTHER ADMISSION

Things haven’t gone quite as I expected.  I have been thinking of a ‘good news’ list to balance the equation.  There are many more entries on the credit side than on the debit.  In fact there’s only one entry in the bad news column, so I hope they now do in fact balance.
At my last hospital examination, they decided that the problem was not the gall bladder so much as the bile duct itself.  So, instead of a neat keyhole operation, they are going to have to open me up a bit more. The idea is to remove the duct, as well as the gall bladder, and bits of what the duct is joined onto.  It all looks straightforward enough on the map the surgeon has given me, except for all the blood.  Why does there have to be so much blood?
So here’s my good news list:
*      My surgeon is one of the best.
*      He has done hundreds of these operations.
*      Most of his patients survived.
*      The op takes place next Tuesday.
*      I’ve passed the pre-op examination, although I need to be a bit taller to get the recommended BMI.
*      The scans are not conclusive.  If everything looks OK, when I am opened up, he might only remove the gall bladder after all.
*      I shall be anaesthetised and oblivious to all the poking about and blood.
*      I shall stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks and not be expected to move.
*      I’ll get to wear those navy blue stockings again.
*      I shall see that Lithuanian nurse again.
*      I shall have a very sexy scar.
*      I will eat at least 10 days worth of those meals.
*      I will read all the books currently queuing up on my bedside table.
*      I will do a lot of thinking as well.
*      I won’t have to put up any shelves for a while.
*      Or change any plugs.
*      I will have learnt to speak Spanish.
*      I will no doubt also have a smattering of Lithuanian.
*      You will have a break for a while from my blatherings.
*      She Who Doesn’t Blog will be in touch with updates.
*      When discharged, I shall sit in my armchair for a couple of months and be waited on hand and foot (instead of just hand).
*      I will be up and about in the summer and probably manage to struggle to the patio sun-lounger.
*      I will be out walking again in the autumn.
*      I will be cured!

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