SOCIAL NOT WORKING

I was sitting in a restaurant the other evening when I heard a lady behind me ask her daughter, 'why do you have to sit there with your mobile phone in one hand?'  And the reply, in that slightly whiny, questioning way that teenagers have, was 'I need to take a photograph of my dinner?'  Ah, yes of course.

Well, we've all been guilty of that, but it reminded me of an interview with a teenager I heard on the radio the other day about Facebook releasing personal information.  She said two incidental things that struck me - firstly that she spends a large amount of her online time managing her relationships with 'friends' she has never met.  Well, we all do that too.  But she made the point that a chance, ill-considered remark could ruin her relationships in a flash, so she has to devote time to picking words and phrases judicially.  Actual friends of hers who didn't take such care have been devastated by the transformation of peaceful exchanges into battlegrounds.  And it is not just one or two 'friends' who turn - the hostility quickly snowballs into hate campaigns from anywhere on the website with distressing results.  I hadn't viewed social networking sites as quite such a minefield before.  It makes one think seriously before embarking on a new one.

The interviewee therefore makes sure she never ignores any online friend and also that she responds appropriately.  So much so in fact, that she has to interrupt interaction with friends she is with in order to manage the online relationship.  I can see how this would happen.  And of course you don't have the benefit of facial expression and tone of voice to add meaning to your words.  But the natural conclusion is that the online friendship is more important than the real one. 

But then she said something quite extraordinary.  Her friends understand when she ignores them to attend to her mobile device; they are likely to do the same.  'And anyway', she added.  'We have already sent each other tweets about how we felt this morning and what we had for breakfast, so we don't really have anything to talk about.' 

So it seems that, far from bringing us all into happy contact with each other and improving our comfortable interaction, the Internet has trivialised and hollowed out our relationships and given us instead a compulsive Russian roulette of a lifestyle with all the anxiety and insecurity we used to have only in the playground, but without the physical contact.

Actually, it hasn't done that for me.  I value the online friends I have, but, unfashionably, I don't take the online friends with me when I meet my real friends.  I manage the real friendships as carefully as I can and also try to meet up when I have something to say, rather than sending a text and then meeting with nothing left of importance to talk about.  But clearly I am now past the young fogey stage. 

But I also wonder, if meeting up with friends has become so unnecessary, whether texting and tweeting and online ineraction won't lead to more isolation and alienation.  There must also be the danger that, with online relationships taking over, we wish more and more to meet up with strangers we have met online, without really knowing who or what they are.  Young people remain remarkably indiscreet online and the trend for selfies has probably increased that.  The girl in the interview saw no problem incidentally with Facebook releasing her personal details.

Anyway you are all lovely.  Honest.  Yes, even you.

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKING

Now here's an interesting thing.  Latest crime figures for the UK show a continual significant decrease in crime.  There are those who assume that the figures have been massaged in some way.  They may be right.  There are those who think that the way statistics are compiled has somehow been changed to give a more favourable complexion.  That may be true too.  And there are those who claim that the presentation is weaselly worded, that now only reported crime is recorded for example and that people do not now bother to report instances that have become commonplace or that minor instances are simply disregarded by the authorities.  I'm sure that there is some of that too.

But there are other factors at work here.  In a survey last year for example, those asked felt that crime in Britain had changed little over the previous year.  But when asked about crime in their local area, the reaction was different.  There they believed that the number of crimes was falling.  And this was the consistent answer each month over the whole year.

So what is going on?  Well, after giving my thoughts on children with smart phones and Internet connections, it seems that social networking sites may have other benefits.  Other than pornography that is.  I thought that this was an interesting theory.

Of course online aggression may itself be a crime.  But maybe we prefer it off the streets.

THE GORGE AT ALFRISTON

I met up with some schoolfriends on Monday for a pre-Christmas lunch.  This meeting had three objectives - 1) to meet my old friends again (we actually meet fairly regularly, so perhaps only 2 objectives), 2) to get into the festive spirit (this is the eighth Christmas celebration I have been to so far, so perhaps only 1 objective) and 3) to eat something other than sausage rolls and mince pies which I seem to have lived on for the last couple of weeks.  But actually I could have stayed at home to eat something other than party food.  OK, maybe this was just another excuse for a party.

Anyway, we met up at The George in Alfriston.  I have mentioned this village before; it has a population of less than 800, but boasts an almost unspoilt mediaeval High Street, including three pubs.  This is the 15th century post office.  The windows are a modern addition (18th century).



This is the oldest building, The Star, built in the 14th century, but not made an inn until the 16th century.



It used to be used by smugglers, hence the old ship's figurehead outside.  And below is The Smugglers, which I assume was so named to distract the authorities from The Star.  It was built 10 years later than The Star and, similarly, was not an inn for a 100 years or so.



I think the silly present name was added quite recently.  We went to the oldest pub in Alfriston, The George.  This was built as an inn in the 16th century.



This is the main bar.



We enjoyed all the usual festive stuff - pheasant, venison, linguine (can't remember why we had that now), fish and chips, etc.  A jolly good time was had by all and we all liked the figgy pudding.