Thursday, 11 October 2012


I fink it would be well awesome to vote.  All the TV cameras and lights and fings.  Showing some teef to the chicks as you slot that slip in the box.  We could go in togever, like Luis and Gay Tony, and kick some ass.

Nah.  They don’t have no cameras for everyone, dude.

Why’s that then?  Well, I’d get my homies to fill the place and work da crowds, like.  I ain’t doing it for nuffin, bro.  Just need a bit of respect, right.  When I vote, I want the whole world to see.  Me, right.  I’d get that jacket from Topshop.  And those trainers.  If my Mum gives me the money.  That’d show everyone.  Anyway, it’s my right to vote, innit.  Like, human rights and fings.

It’s just that bloody government, like, innit, wot says we’s too young to vote cos we’s ony 16.  Well, I just hate em.  Who wants a bloody government anyway?  Even old geezers who can’t even walk proper gets to vote.  That ain’t fair.  They just want NHS and fings.  They don’t care about us – always moaning when our ball goes over their fence and fings.  I’d vote for getting rid of them and getting rid of schools. 

And parents,

Yeah.  We should tell that Brussels thing about it.

Wot’s that then?

Dunno.  The EU thing.  Wot's always telling the government what's right an fings.  That government, it’s like, we’re the bosses, we don’t want them kids telling us what to do, right, innit, like.  If we’re old enough to steal a car, we’re damn sure old enough to vote, innit. 

Too right, bro.  I’d vote for that Louise Mensch, she’s well hot.

Don’t work like that, bro.  She ain’t on the ticket.  Anyway, she’s in New York now.

Don’t matter.  She’s fitter than that Cameron bloke.  And not so posh.

Yeah.  And that Adele, she’s not posh neither.  I’d vote for her.  An she said she don’t like that Cameron too.  I heard er say it on YouTube.  Just like that!  Way cool.

Adele?!  She’s fat.  You ain’t voting for no fatty. 

You’re fat.

Ooh, you callin fat?  

Well you ain’t fit exactly, like me an Leon an Gazza an Bo, innit.

You won’t be my BFF anymore.

I don’t care.  I didn’t want to be your BFF anyway.  I’ve gotta go home now anyway.  It’s teatime.


  1. LOL

    I think you might be showing your age. ;)

    My daughter is fourteen and has joined her school council to campaign for vending machines in the lobby to dispense water bottles and a relaxing of the rules on skin piercings. Her argument being that promoting individuality allows creativity and will improve the quality of entrepreneurial spirit in future generations of Brits.

    She did ask me if being on the school council would improve her chances of being Prime Minister eventually.

    She is very scary.

    1. I am always surprised and often made to rethink when I hear young people talking as your daughter does. I'd like to see more young people saving to get a mortgage than wasting money on piercings or tatoos or trainers for that matter. But the creativity point is well made. I'd vote for her!

      Are you making out I's old? Is you dissing me?

  2. Replies
    1. Found it my son's old pencil case. It was good sh*t, Charlie. Tasted like an eraser though.